The “I” in Fiction

April 10, 2025

Writer: Valeria Mota

Editor: Sreehi Moravaneni

Seven billion people in the world, hundreds of people in a single concert, at least 20 people at a house party, and about five at an intimate gathering, give or take. Despite these large groups of people, and as much as you try not to, it is still possible to feel very, very lonely.

While it might affect some more than others, at its worst, loneliness can feel like a force of nature that strikes at the most inconvenient times, almost like a wave you thought would only wash over your feet but instead leaves you soaking wet. It doesn’t help that advertisements and social media posts often reassure you that “you are not alone” and that “it’s okay not to be okay.” Yes, those things might be true, but that doesn’t necessarily make you feel better, which only isolates you further. 

When people eventually catch on to your moody demeanor and ask you what’s wrong, you feel a lump in your throat because you can’t describe this excruciating feeling that randomly overwhelms you when you’re at the grocery store, in class, or even when you’re having fun with your closest friends. You just can’t find the words to explain how you feel, so your loneliness deepens. However, that doesn’t mean someone hasn’t found these words already.

At some point in time, someone has felt exactly how you are feeling, whether it’s intensely happy or extremely sad. At that same point in time , someone felt that emotion so strongly that they felt compelled to put pen to paper and write a story about it. They felt it so viscerally that they finally decided to share that story with the world. They shared it with the world for a reason: They knew that they had to express their feelings one way or another, and they were sure that someone out there was feeling something similar. This is where you can find the words, the solace, the comfort you have been looking for—through written stories. 

Around one million new books are published each year, each one with different perspectives, information, and ideas ready to be read. While reading nonfiction has its benefits, reading fiction has been linked to improved mental health and increased empathy, as it provides a source of escapism and comfort for readers everywhere. For me, I’ve loved reading both fiction for as long as I can remember—there are many novels that have stuck with me because of how they made me feel something that I hadn’t quite experienced before, providing that nice escapism we all need now and then. Yet, most of the books that have left a lasting impact on me are the ones where I could point at a certain line, paragraph, or chapter and say, “This. This is what I’ve been trying to express for so long.” Considering how many fiction books are out there, I have no doubt that you can find a novel that makes you say the same thing.

A particular book that made me feel this way was Sylvia Plath’s The Bell Jar. Now, I’m definitely not the first person to say that they’ve been touched by this novel; it’s a popular book, so this is definitely not an original experience. It was the book’s wide critical acclaim that encouraged me to read it during my senior year of high school. 

Like most people, senior year is a time filled with big, life-defining decisions, which is understandably overwhelming. A specific paragraph of the book, known as the fig tree analogy, made my jaw drop, as it earnestly expressed the desire to experience everything so intensely while being limited by choices: “I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree... From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Ee Gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America... I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn't make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet.” 

I remember being with my friends when I read this for the first time, and I immediately felt compelled to read it out loud to them. They were all silent after I read it, and then we just talked about it for hours. At that time in our lives, we were paralyzed by possibilities and free will, and the excerpt was just so true. The rest of the book is absolutely amazing, and it has become one of my all-time favorites. The Bell Jar made me feel seen and brought me closer to my already close friends, showing not only how literature can bring people together, but how it reduces the ache of loneliness that we can all come to feel.

While novels like The Bell Jar help many understand their own emotions, there are other books that also motivate you to push through and heal those feelings as well. In junior year of high school, I picked up Haruki Murakami’s iconic Kafka on the Shore solely because of its classic status. Similar to my senior year, my junior year was overwhelming; not because of my endless choices, but because of my seemingly endless depression and existential dread. Obviously these aren’t exactly fun topics to talk about, so I didn’t talk about them often, not if I could help it. One chapter into Kafka on the Shore, however, made me realize that it is possible to go through a storm of emotions and still come out the other side. 

The book’s first chapter ends with a small soliloquy from Kafka, the titular character, who reflects on this inner storm: “Sometimes fate is like a small sandstorm that keeps changing directions. You change direction but the sandstorm chases you. You turn again, but the storm adjusts... Why? Because this storm isn't something that blew in from far away, something that has nothing to do with you. This storm is you. Something inside of you. So all you can do is give in to it, step right inside the storm, closing your eyes and plugging up your ears so the sand doesn't get in, and walk through it, step by step… And you really will have to make it through that violent, metaphysical, symbolic storm. No matter how metaphysical or symbolic it might be, make no mistake about it: it will cut through flesh like a thousand razor blades… And once the storm is over you won't remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won't even be sure, in fact, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm you won't be the same person who walked in. That's what this storm's all about.”

This section of the book practically carried me through the rest of high school. While my parents and friends heavily supported me through tough times with words of encouragement, it was a surreal experience to know that a 53-year-old Japanese man wrote exactly what I was feeling and sent it off into the world in 2002, almost as if I was meant to find it in 2021. 

Of course, I have read hundreds of books in my lifetime, but there are novels like The Bell Jar and Kafka on the Shore that stay in my mind because of their raw honesty and vulnerable writing. It’s these types of fiction novels that can help you find and label the emotions that you weren’t even sure you were feeling. They can ultimately guide you to find the “I” in “fiction.” Reading nonfiction and articles can also provide you with tips and tricks on how to weather your emotions, and obviously reading a novel will not solve every problem in your life. However, it’s nice to know that fictional stories are often written from emotional places, so it makes sense that these stories can connect with you in emotional ways. You still might find yourself being lonely in a small crowd or a sea of people, but that’s okay; if you look and read hard enough, you’ll eventually find that the words you couldn’t find to express yourself have already been published.