Distance is Just a Number
October 1, 2024
Writer: Stella Siegel
Editors: Lily Weinstein, Chloe Robinson
Leaving for college was hard enough—lugging duffle bags, saying awkward goodbyes to my parents—but leaving my best friend? That was a whole different kind of hard. After years of spending literally every second together—sharing lunches, gossiping about the most random things, finishing each other’s sentences like some kind of telepathic duo—we were terrified. How could we possibly stay as close when we were living miles apart? Of course, we told each other that we would text every day and set aside specific weekly times to call. Our plan sounded foolproof until the reality of college life kicked in.
Between classes, extracurriculars, and the sudden freedom of making ramen at 2 a.m. just because we could, keeping in touch wasn’t as easy as we thought. That’s the thing about long-distance friendships—they require effort. It takes more effort than a traditional, in-person relationship where you can wave hello on the way to class and share a martini on a Thursday. You’ve got to be intentional about maintaining long-distance friendships or else they fizzle out. But here’s the thing: if it’s a true friendship, you’ll find the time. Maybe not every single day like ambitiously planned, but in ways that matter. Whether it’s sending memes or TikToks at 3 a.m., or setting up weekend catch-up calls in between bagel runs, you’ll make it work. Caring for these types of friendships is like tending a plant – except one that’s way less demanding and won’t die if you don’t water it every day. You have to find your balance, and suddenly, the distance feels a lot less daunting.
In a world where we’re connected by technology, keeping in touch is easier than ever before. The key to perfecting the art of long distance is to be creative and intentional about how you communicate. Texting is a given, but sometimes words on a screen aren’t enough. Video calls—whether spontaneous or scheduled—help bring back the face-to-face connection that’s missing in a long-distance friendship. Whether it’s a quick five-minute chat or a lengthy catch-up session, seeing each other’s faces makes the friendship feel closer. Also, don’t underestimate a postcard or a letter. There’s something special about a handwritten note from a friend reminding you that you’re on their mind. These small, symbolic gestures can make all the difference. Sharing a song or a playlist that makes you think of your friend can keep a connection aflame even when you’re miles apart.
With physical distance, the old routines of grabbing coffee after class or watching a movie together on a Friday night disappear. But that doesn’t mean new traditions can’t be created. Establishing new routines that fit your long-distance dynamic is essential to maintaining the friendship. I set aside an hour each Monday night for a Facetime call and tell my best friend about my week and then let her tell me about hers. These routines help anchor our friendship, giving me something to look forward to each week. It’s crucial to be flexible and understanding if your friend tells you she has to miss a call because it's too late or she has too much work. What’s important is respecting each other’s time and energy. Long-distance friendships thrive when you’re both willing to adapt to each other’s lives without feeling pressured to check in constantly.
As the days go on, both you and your friend will grow and change. You both will be making new friends, taking on new hobbies, or joining clubs, but a strong friendship doesn’t need to be upheld by constant attention. Support each other’s personal growth and be there to celebrate each other’s achievements. Although my friends and I live completely different lives, we are evolving and growing together.
The best part of a long-distance friendship is the visits. They create fun moments that can fuel the friendship until the next meet-up. Make seeing each other a priority. The quality of your interactions matters, not how often they happen. I realized that distance hasn’t separated us. If anything, it’s made it stronger. Long-distance friendships aren’t always easy, but with loyalty, flexibility, and commitment, they can be some of the most rewarding relationships in life.
