A Heart Unlocked
November 12, 2024
Writer: Victoria Pescod
Love is a simple word, easy to spell, hard to define, and impossible to live without. I've felt the pull of love, but I have also hesitated at the edge, afraid to leap. An emotional flow pulses through us, weaving a tapestry of past connections colored by doubt and uncertainty. The ghosts of our past linger, whispering worries that cloud our hearts. I can’t help but wonder: have our failed relationships left us too scarred to love freely again?
We can often find ourselves building walls against the very love we crave. This was once me– guarded, distant, quick to withhold affection, and carrying a heart of stone. I struggled to see vulnerability as a strength, finding safety in staying emotionally detached.
Yet, amidst this fear, some people shine as bright exceptions — like my friend Mena, who embraces love without reservation. Mena’s courage to love reminds me that maybe the greatest risk we can take is to love wholeheartedly.
When you first meet my friend Mena you might only think of her as an energetic, curly-haired girl, always dancing to the beat of her own drum. But, Mena is so much more than someone to laugh with. She is a storyteller, with golden energy that shines through her big smile. Mena embodies boldness, authenticity, charisma, love, and most of all, bravery.
Just weeks after meeting Mena, she taught me the first, of many, profound lessons about love: Sternberg’s Triangular Theory. According to this theory, there are eight types of love composed of three essential pillars– passion, intimacy, and commitment– that form various types of love in our lives. At the time, I was grappling with the pain of leaving toxic relationships behind, and this small yet powerful lesson gave me clarity and hope. Each pillar felt like an answer to my fears, showing me that love could be both layered and stable. For the first time, I saw a light at the end of the tunnel, a reminder that there is life and love beyond heartbreak.
Though Mena has faced heartbreak in friendships, relationships, and loss, I admire her incredible vulnerability and her willingness to nurture what she calls “cosmic” connections– those rare bonds that feel as though they’ve existed long before you met the person. Mena believes that a cosmic connection doesn’t rely on years spent together but on an unspoken understanding and instant click. When she feels that “cosmic’ bond”, it’s like finding family in a stranger, and she nurtures it with her whole heart.
Her ability to love is nothing short of inspiring. Mena is never afraid to say the words “I love you” or offer affection– behaviors that I often find myself holding back. She embraces love with open arms– whether with friends, a potential lover, or her blended family– and teaches me that love, in all its forms, is worth the risk regardless of the outcome.
In love, vulnerability is both a great risk and reward, a brave surrender that allows us to be fully present and authentic. Love isn’t meant to be flawless– it’s meant to be challenging, passionate, and beautifully imperfect. Love is about holding on and savoring every raw, emotional moment.
If there’s one enduring lesson Mena has taught me, it’s this: our only fear in life should be holding back from fear itself. We have a choice to stay comfortably guarded or to step into the unknown. True freedom and joy lie in being brave enough to love openly, despite the scars we may carry.
Through her, I’ve realized that love rarely comes without risk, yet it’s this very risk that makes it worth pursuing. Fear in love is natural; we’ve all experienced this fear in some form, whether it’s the fear of rejection, of opening up, or of past scars resurfacing. But choosing to love, even in the face of these fears, is one of the most courageous acts we can undertake.
Love is not just worth the risk—it’s worth the resilience it asks of us.
Remember that love is a journey, not a destination. Embrace your feelings as they come, imperfections and all, and know that you’re not alone in feeling hesitant. Growth, connection, and fulfillment lie beyond the comfort zone. It’s in stepping forward despite the fear that we discover not just love for others, but a deeper love for ourselves.
I hope that Mena’s story can serve as a testament to inspire you, as much as it inspired me, not to run from your pain. Instead, display these scars with pride and let them become lessons in love, resilience, and courage. In filling these scars with meaning and compassion you too can transform your love into something “cosmic”– something limitless and powerful.
To Mena: thank you for your love. It is beautiful, admirable, and contagious.
