Whole Without the World
January 26, 2024
Writer: Tyler Peterson
Editor: Victoria Pescod
“Who are you that you’re so afraid to be with yourself?” The first time I heard this quote, it stopped me in my tracks. The simplicity of the question held a mirror to something I hadn’t yet dared to confront. In a world that seems to condemn idle hands and idolize companionship, the idea of being alone often carries a sense of shame or inadequacy. But if we’re uncomfortable with our own thoughts, what does that say about the relationship we have with ourselves? More importantly, how can we expect to thrive in our connections with others if we’re disconnected from who we are at our core?
The truth is, being alone isn’t just about solitude; it’s about self-acceptance. It’s about being at peace with the person who greets you in the quiet moments when no one else is around. Yet so many of us run from this silence. We fill our lives with noise—podcasts, music, endless plans, the validation of others—in an attempt to suppress the babel of our brains.
Though, what I’ve come to learn is that being alone isn’t the same as being lonely. Loneliness is the ache of disconnection, but being alone can be a sanctuary for self-discovery- a space to reflect, process, and grow. When we embrace solitude, we give ourselves the chance to hear our own voice without the interference of the world around us. A clear understanding of our needs, values, and desires —not as they’ve been shaped by others, but as they truly are. Spending time alone is an act of self-respect. In the stillness, our validation comes from within rather than seeking approval in low places. This validation builds a foundation of confidence that carries over into every aspect of life, allowing us to show up authentically in our relationships, because we’re no longer looking for someone else to complete us or fill a void. Instead, approaching connection from a place of wholeness, offering what we already have rather than searching for what we lack.
Of course, learning to enjoy your own company isn’t always easy. It’s a process, and like any relationship; time, effort, and nurturing are required. It might feel uncomfortable at first, even intimidating. But discomfort is often a sign of growth. Start small, date yourself. Take yourself out to a coffee shop and enjoy a quiet moment with a book. Go for a walk without your phone and notice the world around you. Journal or meditate to explore and heal the noise you’re running from.
Over time, these moments of solitude become less about escaping the world and more about returning to yourself. You start to find beauty in the quiet—in the way the morning light spills across your kitchen table, in the rhythm of your own breath, in the simple act of being. You realize that being alone isn’t something to fear, but something to cherish. You are the only person you must spend the rest of your life with- get to know them better. In the glimpse of it all, you might just fall in love.
