Fleeting Happiness: The 90-second Rule
October 7, 2024
Writer: Ava Londa
Editor: Chloe Robinson
It’s a summer day in August and I’m walking along the beach alone at 5 pm. I ignore the sand between my toes and let each wave wash away what it once brought. The sun has grown weaker, beaming down on me without being too hot. I am happy until I realize I am happy. Thick clouds roll in, covering the once azure canvas that was a clear sky and I am once again reminded that everything is fleeting.
As cliché as it sounds, life is full of ups and downs. There are transitional periods, adjustments, times of angst or sadness, and periods that are purely good. However, my anxiety prevents me from being able to accept this rollercoaster of life. I constantly find myself glaring over my shoulder, awaiting the next obstacle rather than just being. This awareness has served me well in times of distress, when I can remind myself that hardship is never permanent, but has also been self-deprecating in times of happiness.
In a psychology class, I learned that the chemical process that triggers emotions in the body lasts about 90 seconds. I scoffed upon initially hearing this statistic – how can people fall into a depression or become paralyzed by anxiety when these emotions only last 90 seconds? The answer to this question lies in the way we respond to our emotions. Although emotions have such a short lifespan, we prolong their impact by resisting, judging, or ignoring them. After 90 seconds, the initial chemical reaction is over and if you still feel that emotion it’s your own thoughts re-stimulating the chemical changes. I suddenly became entranced in an online lecture that typically serves as background noise while I wash dishes, make my bed, or put on the TV. As the lesson continued, the professor identified something known as the 90-second rule– a mechanism that allows emotions to pass through you quickly.
The 90-second rule consists of identifying, labeling, and observing emotions rather than trying to change them. I initially doubted the efficiency of this practice. This doubt soon settled when I heard the professor say, “You can either take control of your emotions or let your emotions take control of you.” There, the 90-second rule presented itself in full form: the feeling of doubt that entered my mind escaped as fast as it came on. Because instead of feeding into the doubt, I recognized it as something fleeting and that's what it did– it fled.
There are so many ways we can approach this process and it may look different for everyone. Personally, I like to feel in control in a world that is constantly changing. Although I can’t control my emotions, I can control the way I perceive and handle them. I now look back on my daily beach strolls this past summer with forgiveness. I forgive myself for being overtaken by fear and recognize that I have lost battles to that fear many times. Then again, fear is important and has protected me in the past.
I soon came to realize the importance of “negative” emotions. They all have the same 90-second lifespan and if I identify them and allow them to pass, ultimately they become a distant memory, funny story, or life lesson.
So, my new goal is not to merely be present, but let emotions pass through me in the natural course they are meant to, because no feeling is ever permanent and this too shall pass.
