Fewer Boys, More Brunch
April 11, 2024
Writer: Tyler Peterson
Editor: Chloe Robinson
In the turbulence of your 20s – a decade often characterized by self-discovery, establishing a career, and, often failed romantic endeavors – one thing remains constant: close friendships. Amidst all the chaos, the ritual of brunch emerges, like some worship rite. Where laughs are echoed, secrets are shared, and souls are supported. This ritual, and those you do it with, may do more for your life turbulence than any air traffic control.
I had always heard that high school is where you are supposed to “find yourself,” but I certainly didn’t feel that way. In college, I have spent more time navigating who I am than just about anything else. The most helpful tool? My fellow, struggling, 20-somethings. Through drunken mishaps, bad breakups, and a dwindling self-image, my friends have taught me that mistakes are life’s way of pushing you forward; the way you react to adversity is what makes all the difference. Coming into college, I could barely look in the mirror or name five strengths of mine. I hated the way I looked, and I strongly doubted my social and academic abilities. Now, thanks to the inspiring women I stick close to, I can list off countless positive qualities in myself.
In your 20s, the most important asset you can have is a support system. Contrary to what we’re trained to believe, arguments may actually make your relationships stronger. The ability of women to be empathetic and understanding in conflict resolution actually draws us closer. Through silly fights and miscommunication, my friends and I have been there for each other to listen, apologize, and create a solution. Being able to mess up and know that your friends will be there to help you rather than judge you builds a sense of trust that inevitably catalyzes connection. Women's friendships are often characterized by a high degree of mutual trust and vulnerability. When women feel comfortable opening up to each other, they are more likely to be honest and authentic in their interactions. I can confidently say my best girlfriends know things about me that even my therapist doesn’t. My friends have seen it all, from me crying, screaming, or smiling ear-to-ear. This ability to trust and be authentic fosters a sense of closeness and connection I have found difficult to replicate elsewhere.
On my quest to find “the one,” I’ve found a lot of “not-the-ones.” I often find myself in a position where I put all of my effort and time towards a guy that ends up, more or less, disappointing me. The highlight of my college relationships, if you can even call them that, weren’t the conversations, or lack thereof, that I’ve had with these “men,” but rather the thrill of the post-breakup debriefs with friends afterward. Looking back, I hardly remember the pain or embarrassment of calling a guy 12 times or puking outside the formal venue, but I’ll never forget the jokes that came out of it and the unconditional love and support I felt from the women who put my pieces back together.
My whole life, I’ve been told college is where I would meet my soulmate. And boy were they wrong; I didn’t meet one, I met five. I’m not sure who I am yet, but they’re helping me hold the map. While I can’t say a boy has taken me on a real date in years, I can say, when I do find the one, these girls will be my bridesmaids.